when i see him in my dreams, i wish it wouldn’t last… before i’ve become unconscious at night, i dream of having him besides me.. and when i wake up.. consciously, i was dreaming he’s still be by my side.. it feels great, coz there, no limitation was given to me.. and in that way, i can be happy and it feels like he’s mine.. i wish all of my life spent in dreaming and i wish no mornings to come for me to be able not to missed him.. this doesn’t mean i’m hurt or what, it was like.. my fantasies helps me to become happy and fulfilled again, who doesn’t want that? hugging him so tight, spend almost all your time for each other.. all these can come true when you start dreaming.. so everyday, when i’m away and not in my busy mode, i wish i was in bed.. i wish i’m with my huge pillow, dreaming of him and forgetting of wishing he was with me.. because fantasy helps me to overcome my reality.. that’s really nice.. i got new ways to pamper myself and new technique for me not feel pain.. and now.. if time comes i remember him when i’m not in bed.. is that.. i miss him

basically it is true that the only person who could help you out to solve your problem is yourself.. so i learned how to help myself by picking those things that will enlighten me.. this would not mean of i’m taking the chances of having him again but taking the chances of feeling better.. a unique way to illuminate my positive side so that i would not be like i’m emo again.. this is my way to be optimistic.. this way too, i could comfortably helps myself to react on changes in a positive way.. there is no such as easy thing in life.. it takes time to learn things accordingly.. i might not be as good as others at least i tried it on my own.. in my own simple way i help myself to become better and i believe that in everything God will never let this happen without further reason and purpose for the near future.. it might be unclear now but someday i know the answers will be right in front of me.. so as of now.. just let me to do this.. it will help..